A funny thing happened to me recently. OK so maybe not funny ha ha ha. Funny as in #notinmylifegoals...I got divorced. That Friday morning a few weeks back when the judge pronounced me as divorced, I danced out of that county courthouse like I'd won the lottery. I guess am a little bit cray cray. The sense of relief, freedom, pure unadulterated joy...then I drove back to work and continued with my day.
Off course I didn't quite realize that I would find myself super depressed a few days later. Like, so down in the dumps that it took every remaining ounce of energy to just get through the week. Luckily, I had something to look forward to - Fall Break! And break I did. Broke down in tears in a colleagues office. Me, who never cries. I was just so done! So totally exhausted emotionally. Fall Break was do-absolutely-nothing break. I cancelled all the travel plans and stayed put. Got a massage, cleaned house, cleaned house some more, slept, slept some more, and after three days, I had the energy to play and be fully present with my daughters during their own Fall Break. I guess I should have known there would be an anti-climax...
I have a lot of unpacking to do. Unpacking of emotional baggage and trauma. Unpacking of all the stuff the ex-spouse left at my house. Still a lot of decoupling or is it uncoupling to do...But by Golly, I made it! It's Friday, am tired, so this isn't the most eloquent blog post...but I thought you all my virtual village ought to know: I. MADE. IT. I walked through the valley, and am here. I am whole. I am happy. Broke, but happy. And I have a new found joy in and appreciation for the single life. God has been my refuge and my strength, through it all. And now, I do have a new calling to accompany others walking this path. I have been broken, but y'all, I was not destroyed; am still here. I. AM. STRONG. Cheers to single/parent/academic/mama.
