Today I celebrate with friends who welcomed their newborn daughter into the world on Good Friday. As I ohh and ahh over the beautiful newborn pictures, I was reminded of some of the readings on blogs and chatrooms that I did last year as I was going through infertility treatments and subsequent miscarriage.
One of the issues that many women talked about in those blogs and chatrooms was the difficulty they had celebrating others while they themselves were struggling with the pain of infertility and/or pregnancy loss. Some talked about not attending baby showers or doing so and being miserable. Yet, I confess to being a little confused about such reactions.
You see, for me, even in the midst of the worst of the pain, any time I heard about someone else's pregnancy or newborn, I actually felt a sense of excitement and gladness. Here's why. Every one of those women experiencing a successful pregnancy was one less woman suffering the kind of pain I was going through. I would never ever wish infertility and/or pregnancy loss on anyone. In other words, just because I was sad over my own failure to procreate does not mean I cannot be happy for someone else's successful journey.
I still remember at one point in the midst of the worst of the miscarriage pain hearing about someone else's pregnancy, and my hubby asking how I felt about it. I told him then that I was happy for the soon-to-be mother and praying that her journey would end with a successful delivery. Indeed, in reflecting on my 'odd' reactions, I came to the conclusion that having experienced infertility and miscarriage, a) I have a heightened awareness of the fragility of the procreation exercise and how it could all go horribly wrong and b) therefore I find myself praying over my expecting friends or relatives with just a little more zeal than I used to before, and c) I am super happy with news of a safe delivery of a living breathing newborn baby.
So here I am, doing the happy aunty dance, looking at my schedule to plan a trip to the midwest to visit my new niece, praying for my colleague who is expecting her baby any time now, and being reminded once again that children are a gift from God. What a beautiful way to celebrate Holy Week!
