Showing posts with label living in hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living in hope. Show all posts
Monday, March 9, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
New Year, New Hope
Happy New Year!
The other day, our adoption social worker asked whether the holiday was difficult, entering it still childless. Truth be told, I wondered whether it would be any more difficult than previous holidays, now that we had tasted the short-lived joy of holding a baby in our arms. As it turns out, it wasn't difficult, not at all. It was baby-filled, and thus joy-filled, because we got to hang out with our friends and families babies. I came back to Minnesota feeling rejuvenated, with my hope re-ignited. I, and we, continue to believe, to hope that we shall soon be holding a baby of our own in our hands. How God chooses to make that a reality remains to be seen...
A second source of hope re-ignited for me came because of watching how our friends and family, and even a few strangers, had responded so generously to our request for financial support towards our adoption goals. We do not take any of that for granted, whether 20 dollars or 200. Moreover, we are so appreciative of all those who are praying with and for us near and far. Our God is faithful, eventually, these prayers will be answered, and what a celebration that will be!
As I was preparing to write this post, I looked over the blog and realized the failed adoption post has been read more than 700 times! Evidently, there are many others out there who probably go to the internet looking for hope, trying to find out whether they are the only ones experiences failed placements or disruptions. We are not alone, and my hope with this blog has been that it would be a source of hope (yes, I used hope twice in one sentence...).
Finally, as this new year dawns all fresh and such, it has been 9 months, almost 10 since the disrupted adoption. As I was sharing some of our story with my classes (that we have no children but are waiting to adopt...), one of the students came to see me afterwards to chat. She asked how long we'd been waiting, I told her 9 months. Her words, "Don't give up Dr Faith, my parents waited 9 years to adopt me." There, you have it, hope re-ignited...
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| Mother and Child, Ceramic by Woodrow Nash. Captures my desires... |
The other day, our adoption social worker asked whether the holiday was difficult, entering it still childless. Truth be told, I wondered whether it would be any more difficult than previous holidays, now that we had tasted the short-lived joy of holding a baby in our arms. As it turns out, it wasn't difficult, not at all. It was baby-filled, and thus joy-filled, because we got to hang out with our friends and families babies. I came back to Minnesota feeling rejuvenated, with my hope re-ignited. I, and we, continue to believe, to hope that we shall soon be holding a baby of our own in our hands. How God chooses to make that a reality remains to be seen...
A second source of hope re-ignited for me came because of watching how our friends and family, and even a few strangers, had responded so generously to our request for financial support towards our adoption goals. We do not take any of that for granted, whether 20 dollars or 200. Moreover, we are so appreciative of all those who are praying with and for us near and far. Our God is faithful, eventually, these prayers will be answered, and what a celebration that will be!
As I was preparing to write this post, I looked over the blog and realized the failed adoption post has been read more than 700 times! Evidently, there are many others out there who probably go to the internet looking for hope, trying to find out whether they are the only ones experiences failed placements or disruptions. We are not alone, and my hope with this blog has been that it would be a source of hope (yes, I used hope twice in one sentence...).
Finally, as this new year dawns all fresh and such, it has been 9 months, almost 10 since the disrupted adoption. As I was sharing some of our story with my classes (that we have no children but are waiting to adopt...), one of the students came to see me afterwards to chat. She asked how long we'd been waiting, I told her 9 months. Her words, "Don't give up Dr Faith, my parents waited 9 years to adopt me." There, you have it, hope re-ignited...
Oh, That I migtht have my request,
That God would grant what I hope for
What strength do I have that I should still hope?
What prospects, that I should be patient?
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
So, let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess
For God who promised is faithful
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for
and assurance about what we do not (yet) see
So, here I am. Here we are, waiting and hoping.
Its a new year, here's to new hope.
Won't you wait and hope with us?
(Job 6:8, 11; Isaiah 40:31; Hebrews 10:23; 11:1)
Sunday, May 11, 2014
For Mothers in Waiting
This post has been stewing in my heart for several hours, as I see all the Facebook messages celebrating mothers, and recognize that I am not alone - I am not alone in this space of waiting. Even as we celebrate those who have mothered us - biological mothers, adoptive or foster mothers, othermothers, auntie-mamas - I am praying for you. I feel you, my sisters, known and unknown, as you wait for the gift of motherhood, hold on to hope. I am speaking to God the Mother (Isaiah 49:15; Psalms 131:2) on our behalf.
You know whom am thinking of
You see her right now
Celebrating her own mother
Yet yearning to be one herself
Dear God calm and quiet her soul
Like a weaned child with its mother
Comfort her
as a mother comforts her child
You know whom am praying for
You know her better than she knows herself
Because you knit her together in her mothers womb
Yet she waits to feel one growing in her own
Won't you come to her aid Mother God
Whether she is missing being a mother
Due to barrenness or miscarried babies
Or she is still waiting for a husband
With whom to make those babies
Won't you please hear her prayer
Sister in the struggle
Keep on hoping
Yet
While you occupy that space
Give yourself away
Love the motherless and the unmothered
Hug a child who needs to be comforted
Provide from the bounty of your blessings
Nurture and nourish the needy child near you
Sister in the struggle
Maybe a child from your own womb is not in your future
But that does not mean you cannot be a mother
So let not your heart be troubled
Give
Love
Hug
Provide
Nurture
Because motherhood is more than biology
Let your hands hold the one that God brings your way
Let your heart love the ones that comes into your life
Let your hurt be healed as you heal
The child, young or older
Whom God brings along your path
So happy hopeful mothers day
From one waiting mother to another.
You know whom am thinking of
You see her right now
Celebrating her own mother
Yet yearning to be one herself
Dear God calm and quiet her soul
Like a weaned child with its mother
Comfort her
as a mother comforts her child
You know whom am praying for
You know her better than she knows herself
Because you knit her together in her mothers womb
Yet she waits to feel one growing in her own
Won't you come to her aid Mother God
Whether she is missing being a mother
Due to barrenness or miscarried babies
Or she is still waiting for a husband
With whom to make those babies
Won't you please hear her prayer
Sister in the struggle
Keep on hoping
Yet
While you occupy that space
Give yourself away
Love the motherless and the unmothered
Hug a child who needs to be comforted
Provide from the bounty of your blessings
Nurture and nourish the needy child near you
Sister in the struggle
Maybe a child from your own womb is not in your future
But that does not mean you cannot be a mother
So let not your heart be troubled
Give
Love
Hug
Provide
Nurture
Because motherhood is more than biology
Let your hands hold the one that God brings your way
Let your heart love the ones that comes into your life
Let your hurt be healed as you heal
The child, young or older
Whom God brings along your path
So happy hopeful mothers day
From one waiting mother to another.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Faith & Chas Waiting to Adopt
The title I chose for this post reflects some of what we just learned in two days of adoption training - that we are supposed to be letting people in our circle know about our adoption plans, so that they would tell others, because apparently, many US domestic infant adoptions now happen through outreach. Adoption outreach involves all the activities that prospective adoptive parents engage in for the purpose of reaching out as potential resources for birth parents. According to those in the adoption field, it is important for adoptive parents to take an active role in reaching out through their network, using resources such as blogs, YouTube, Facebook, postcards, and such, to spread the news and essentially, 'market' themselves to birth parents.
Most of us at the adoption training felt uncomfortable about the idea of putting ourselves out there in this way. But the more the trainers talked about it, the more it made sense that, in this day and age, where we get jobs and even meet prospective partners (marital and otherwise) through networking and the internet, we would use similar pathways in the adoption journey. Essentially we could have our profile in a big book and hope that birth parents find us by walking into Lutheran Social Services of MN, or we could engage in outreach activities ourselves so we can feel like we are actively involved. Either way, "Waiting to Adopt" still captures the space we are living in right now.
With our failed adoption still so vivid though, "waiting to adopt" is not a comfortable space to occupy. Unlike everyone else in the room during those those two days, we have already experienced every adoptive parents worst nightmare - a failed adoption, or more correctly, a "reclaim". A reclaim is the term they use for babies who are taken back by their birth parents before final consents have been signed. In Minnesota, birth parents have 10 (working) days within which to change their minds. So we are waiting to adopt after a reclaim, with all the attendant fears and frustrations, hopes and aspirations. That reclaim stole our innocence.
After the training, I found myself feeling my hope was getting depleted. On the one hand, it is great to learn that there is something we can do, that we can engage in outreach in order to increase our chances of connecting with birth mothers. On the other hand, it still feels like waiting to adopt is a space where we adoptive parents have no control; we can do all manner of outreach, but in the end, we wait and wait for birth parents to find us or choose us.
At church today, I received just the jolt I needed to rejuvenate my hope. Pastor Jon Hauser of Prairie Heights Community Church preached about GREATNESS derived from Luke 1. Of the 8 lessons he derived from that chapter, this is what jumped out at me (from Luke 1:5-7):
Don't allow DIFFICULTIES and DISAPPOINTMENTS to define your greatness. God is waiting to DEFINE and REFINE your greatness during difficult times.
So today, I am reminded not to let the difficulty of the waiting to adopt space, or the disappointments of the failed adoption and the infertility that brought us here, dissuade me from believing in the promises of God. Zechariah and his wife were old and infertile too, but God came through for them eventually. Their son was born into greatness, having the awesome responsibility of heralding the coming Christ. So though waiting to adopt is an uncomfortable space to occupy, I aim to occupy it with hope, with faith that God will eventually come through on His promises. May this refiner's fire leave me purer, stronger, with even more faith than before this journey began.
Most of us at the adoption training felt uncomfortable about the idea of putting ourselves out there in this way. But the more the trainers talked about it, the more it made sense that, in this day and age, where we get jobs and even meet prospective partners (marital and otherwise) through networking and the internet, we would use similar pathways in the adoption journey. Essentially we could have our profile in a big book and hope that birth parents find us by walking into Lutheran Social Services of MN, or we could engage in outreach activities ourselves so we can feel like we are actively involved. Either way, "Waiting to Adopt" still captures the space we are living in right now.
With our failed adoption still so vivid though, "waiting to adopt" is not a comfortable space to occupy. Unlike everyone else in the room during those those two days, we have already experienced every adoptive parents worst nightmare - a failed adoption, or more correctly, a "reclaim". A reclaim is the term they use for babies who are taken back by their birth parents before final consents have been signed. In Minnesota, birth parents have 10 (working) days within which to change their minds. So we are waiting to adopt after a reclaim, with all the attendant fears and frustrations, hopes and aspirations. That reclaim stole our innocence.
After the training, I found myself feeling my hope was getting depleted. On the one hand, it is great to learn that there is something we can do, that we can engage in outreach in order to increase our chances of connecting with birth mothers. On the other hand, it still feels like waiting to adopt is a space where we adoptive parents have no control; we can do all manner of outreach, but in the end, we wait and wait for birth parents to find us or choose us.
At church today, I received just the jolt I needed to rejuvenate my hope. Pastor Jon Hauser of Prairie Heights Community Church preached about GREATNESS derived from Luke 1. Of the 8 lessons he derived from that chapter, this is what jumped out at me (from Luke 1:5-7):
Don't allow DIFFICULTIES and DISAPPOINTMENTS to define your greatness. God is waiting to DEFINE and REFINE your greatness during difficult times.
So today, I am reminded not to let the difficulty of the waiting to adopt space, or the disappointments of the failed adoption and the infertility that brought us here, dissuade me from believing in the promises of God. Zechariah and his wife were old and infertile too, but God came through for them eventually. Their son was born into greatness, having the awesome responsibility of heralding the coming Christ. So though waiting to adopt is an uncomfortable space to occupy, I aim to occupy it with hope, with faith that God will eventually come through on His promises. May this refiner's fire leave me purer, stronger, with even more faith than before this journey began.
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