The facade of work/life balance

This is my first post of 2013 on this blog, and I figure I should start by confessing, as they say, its good for the soul.

My confession: I am so not good at work-life balance. I want it, I need it, but I don't know how to get it. My doctor keeps blaming most of the symptoms I present to her on stress. And I argue with her about that...I always tell her stress is normal for professors. When I am not stressed trying to keep up with teaching: grading, setting exams, grading exams, preparing lectures and/or responses to online discussions, reading dissertations...and the list continues. When its not teaching, its writing stressing me out. When its not writing, its service responsibilities. In most cases, its all three at once. And yet, I also want to have a life outside of work.

So what's an academic/working woman to do?

Last semester, one of my students introduced me to the concept of work/life integration. Apparently, work/life integration is a trending topic, as researchers and practitioners alike move away from the myth of balance. I like the idea of integration, perhaps because I could never achieve balance anyway. Teaching mostly online means I take my work home, nay, I work from home most of the time. So separating my work life from my home life is not feasible.

According to Craig Chappelow in an article for Fast Company, folks should stop trying to balance the mythical scales: "we try to help them understand this: Accurately assessing the nature of their own personalities, their sense of self-identity, and the degree of control they have over their work and family lives is crucial to finding satisfaction. Balance is not the goal. Integration is."

So I decided to think out loud/in writing about those three items, and move away from the guilt I sometimes feel about leading such an "unbalanced" life. Per Chappelow's descriptions, I'd guess am both an integrator, allowing work to interrupt life, and life to interrupt work as necessary, but also probably a cycler - there are periods in my semester when work takes priority, when dishes sit in the sink unwashed, house in disarray until the period passes.

When it comes to identity, there is no hiding from the fact that I identify strongly with my role as an educator. As to the third area, I have a high degree of control over my work and family life. Since my partner is a grad student, most of our days and nights are spent doing some form of academic activity.  Even when we are watching television, the computers are open, the books beside the couch, multi-tasking :-).

So, now that I have thought out loud/in writing about this whole myth of balance versus seeking integration, I suddenly realize my life is actually quite integrated. It would be more difficult to achieve integration if my partner wasn't in academia too. I work all the time. I do find time to do stuff other than work - grow a kitchen garden, go to the theater or live concerts, take in a movie every once in a while, watch brainless TV, take short trips...in other words, at this point in my life and career, work/life integration works for me. It works for my family. I will not seek balance as that is unrealistic for me/us. But I will continue to schedule 'life' into my calender as long as it continues to be an effective way to live a productive life. Its not 'balanced' with equal parts work-life...but it works for me/us. And I will continue to argue with the doctor, stop telling me I need to reduce my stress, tell me how to improve myself so that I can live with my stress without incurring psychosomatic symptoms. I know, that's a tall order...