Between Hope and Despair

It has been a month since our 'almost' adopted daughter was reclaimed by her birth mother. A month of living in the space between hope and despair. A month of also having a friend critically ill, then die within a week, but am too far to be of real comfort to those she's left behind. A month of realizing that I am rich in ways that money cannot buy, in friends who have called, sent text and Facebook messages, emails, and in many other ways let me know that they were thinking and praying for us.

I have been thinking about this blog post for a long time, thinking about how I need to talk about that space between hope and despair. 

That space

Between hope and despair 

Where gladness and grief collide 

Where great faith and debilitating fear attempt to co-exist 

I make four steps forward

Living in Hope 

But despair pulls me three steps back

That space 

Between hope and despair 

Hope brings healing

Despair breeds despondency 

That space 

Between hope and despair 

Hope repairs and rebuilds 

Despair pulls it all down again 

I choose hope

Time and time again

But despair has a way of finding me

Yet 

I still choose hope

I fight for hope 

I live in hope

I survive through hope 

Eventually

Despair will get the hint

And give way to living by faith

Despair tells me my issues are mountains

Hope tells me I can climb any mountains 

Despair tells me I am stuck in the dumps

Hope tells me I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

So in this space 

Between hope and despair 

I will hang on to hope 

No matter how much darkness despair throws my way...